


Taking from Thieves

by WhenTheCanonShootsOnlyBlanks



Category: Jane the Virgin (TV)
Genre: Criminal Wives, F/F, Heist AU, Like Mr and Mrs Smith Ocean's Eleven and a bunch of gay shit were thrown in a blender
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-22
Updated: 2017-11-22
Packaged: 2019-02-05 17:50:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12799287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhenTheCanonShootsOnlyBlanks/pseuds/WhenTheCanonShootsOnlyBlanks
Summary: Luisa isn't happy when her ex contacts her for one last job, but for 100 million she would spend the day with almost anyone, Rose Ruvelle included. Besides, stealing a painting from a bank vault in broad daylight, what could go wrong?





	Taking from Thieves

**Author's Note:**

> I am not exactly sure what happened here, but I am excited about it.
> 
> Hope you are too!

‘I cannot believe we’re back here,’ Luisa hissed under her breath as they walked into the bank.

‘I needed a partner,’ Rose said, putting on her best fake smile as they passed the guard at the door.

‘You couldn’t find anyone who hated you less?’ Luisa grimaced, squeezing Rose’s hand almost painfully.

To Rose’s credit, she just kept on smiling.

‘I am not still technically married to anyone else.’

‘Don’t remind me,’ Luisa grumbled.

‘Just focus on the money,’ Rose said, more to herself than to Luisa. This wasn’t exactly her dream team either. Once upon a time it had been, but things had changed since.

That was exactly what Luisa was doing. When she answered the phone a month ago and had heard Rose’s voice her first instinct had been to hang up and throw her phone away, but Rose had anticipated that and countered with a number that Luisa just couldn’t refuse.

200 million, split two ways, she would have to be an idiot to refuse that.

Of course there were risks, 10 years in prison wasn’t in anyone’s plans for the future. But it was a Swiss prison and with extradition thrown in she would definitely get out before that. The real risk was that she and Rose might kill each other before it was over.

‘How’s your French?’ Rose asked as they approached.

‘Better than your Spanish,’ Luisa hissed.

‘Oh, you have been practicing then,’ Rose grinned.

Luisa glared at her.

‘I’ll just do the talking,’ Rose replied.

‘No way. It’s my box, I am doing the talking. Besides, they speak English. It’s a Swiss bank, everyone who is anyone hides their money here.’

It turned out Luisa was right, the immaculately dressed man behind the counter spoke perfect English.

‘ _Bonjour_ ,’ Luisa greeted. ‘I would like to access my safety deposit box, please.’ She slid her passport, or more accurately _one_ of her passports, across the counter.

The man, who had all the qualities and personality of a Swiss watch, ran her passport through the scanner.

Luisa wasn’t nervous, it was legit, the name on it wasn’t but everything else read as an official Spanish passport.

The machine beeped and a green light flashed. ‘Of course, _madame_.’ He shot a look at the computer screen where her file was on display. ‘Is your wife joining us?’

Luisa smiled. ‘She might get in trouble if I leave her here.’

Rose flashed them a soft smile, following it up with a glare as soon as the Batonvert, their very serious bank employee, turned away.

They walked down to the elevator together, Luisa deciding that as she was supposed to appear in love it was best to take Rose’s hand.

Once downstairs they had to pass through the usual security checks, airport style but much higher standards.

Luisa put her purse and shoes in a tray and sent it through the x-ray machine, before walking through the metal detector herself. Not a single blip.

Then it was Rose’s turn and Luisa could barely suppress a sigh as she prepared for the “acting” that was about to happen. She had to admit it was effective, but that didn’t mean she had to like it.

First Rose passed through the metal detector, setting off all alarms.

‘Ah,’ Rose sighed. ‘Your equipment must be very sensitive. This normally never happens.’

‘Madame?’ the security guard asked as he approached her with a portable wand.

‘I think this might have set it off,’ Rose said as she lifted her shirt, showing the impressive collection of scars on her right hip and lower stomach. ‘IED on the road in Iraq. There are still pieces of shrapnel stuck in my pelvis, or so my doctor tells me,’ Rose smiled as she dropped her shirt back down. The guard nodded and ran the wand over Rose’s stomach, indeed setting it off.

‘That would do it,’ the guard nodded, letting her pass. Now there was just some explaining to do about the contents of her bag. Honestly you couldn’t take Rose anywhere.

‘What is this?’ he asked as he pulled a folded metal stick from Rose’s bag.

‘It’s a foldable cane,’ Rose said, taking the cane from the guard’s hands, clicking it into place. ‘My hip gets bad at the end of the day.’

‘Alright, I will just have to keep your keys, as we have a strict no keys policy. You can pick them back up on your way out.’

‘Of course,’ Rose nodded, collecting her other things, smiling brightly at Luisa. So far everything was going according to plan.

Breaking into a vault in broad daylight sounded impossible, but it was really so much easier when someone else opened the doors for you.

Once inside the bank vault, Luisa took out her key as Batonvert slotted his own in the panel near the door.

‘Ready?’ he asked as Luisa inserted her key into box 4J10, her own safety deposit box. The keys had to be turned within a second of each other or the lock wouldn’t open.

‘Ready,’ Luisa said as she turned the key, Batonvert turning his at the same moment, the LED on the box changing from red to blue.

Luisa slid the box out of the wall and put it on the table in the center of the room.

‘I shall give you some privacy. I will be back to check in in three minutes,’ Batonvert said before leaving the room.

Luisa nodded her thanks and opened her safety deposit box. There was nothing interesting in there: some cash, a couple passports, the usual really. She had boxes like this all over the world. What this one had that others didn’t was a rolled up blueprint. It was a recent addition they had made about a month ago. There weren’t any important plans on there, just something Rose had drawn up in her spare time. What was important about was that it was big.

Rose made her way over to the table, leaning back against it, facing away from the camera so no one could lipread what she said. ‘We have less than three minutes, let’s go.’

Luisa nodded. Unrolling the blueprint and holding it up as if studying the drawing intently.

‘Little higher,’ Rose said.

Luisa complied: this was not the moment for sarcastic replies. This was a very time sensitive operation, she would get her comments out later in the car to the hotel.

‘Perfect,’ Rose said.

The last time Luisa was there Rose had accompanied her as well to study the vault. She had found a small flaw in how the camera was set up. The way Luisa was holding the blueprint blocked out almost the entire wall of safes. That combined with the way Rose was standing left only her feet showing up on the screen.

‘Now I hope you have been doing lots of pushups because this is going to take some muscles,’ Rose said as she slipped out of her boots. Apparently she still had time for jokes.

Without touching the floor Rose moved up onto the bench, removing the two master keys from the brace in her mouth.

‘I guess you shooting me has some upsides,’ Rose said, taking the cane from her bag and screwing off the top.

Luisa rolled her eyes. The IED story was something Rose made up to get sympathy from ex-military guys like their kind guard today. There was however shrapnel imbedded in her pelvic bone from where a fragmented bullet pierced her hip.

‘For the last time I wasn’t shooting at you,’ Luisa said through clenched teeth, she could already start to feel the strain in her arms.

‘No, you were shooting at the steel surface right next to me. Shattering the bullet and sending scraps of steel plus those of the bullet into my stomach.’

‘And you milk that story beautifully to get metal into places you shouldn’t,’ Luisa hissed. ‘So get moving, my arms are getting tired.’

‘Told you to do more pushups,’ Rose grinned as she placed the key into the clamp she’d made for it. ‘Here we go,’ Rose said as she pressed the button on the side of her cane and the end telescoped out to where the bank’s lock was located.

The tip of it was now in the view of the camera, but Rose believed that the combination of the similarly colored metal and the lowcut dress Luisa was wearing, the guard wouldn’t notice a thing.

‘How do you even know which box you need?’ Luisa asked, Rose hadn’t informed her of that part of the plan, because Luisa might “decide to shoot her again and get the painting herself”.

‘Easy,’ Rose said, slotting her key into a box on the top row, box 8T32. ‘The lights on the empty boxes aren’t on. I know that the painting was moved here the day after we stopped by. Meaning it will be in one of the first lit up boxes since we were last here. Now we are in luck as there is only one.’

At that Luisa almost turned around, which would have exposed their whole operation. She caught herself just in time. ‘You mean you left it up to chance?!’

‘You need some element of risk otherwise it isn’t fun,’ Rose smirked.

Luisa sighed, this was why she no longer worked with Rose. She took insane risks and had fun doing it. At that precise moment Rose turned the keys, the box clicking open. But most times those risks paid off.

‘Bingo,’ Rose said as she slid a poster tube from the box, right in time as there was less than a minute left now.

Rose quickly cleaned up the evidence of her break in, sliding back into her shoes just as Batonvert walked through the door.

‘Do you need more time?’ he asked, the same neutral expression on his face as before.

‘No, thank you, we’re all done here,’ Luisa smiled, finally lowering her arms and rolling up the blueprint.

There were no alarms as they walked out of the bank. Mission accomplished.

Now Rose just had to fence the painting, wire the 100 million to her and they would never have to see each other again.

As soon as they were out of sight of the bank’s security cameras, Luisa socked Rose in the arm. Her strength might have been lacking as her arms were definitely still numb from holding the blueprint up. ‘How could you have left the most crucial part of this plan to chance?!’ Luisa asked as Rose pulled the poster tube from her bag.

‘Relax, I can’t believe you actually thought I would do that. In case you haven’t noticed this is not my phone.’ She pulled the device from her pocket. It really did look like a normal rectangular phone. But when Rose pressed in her passcode something quite different turned up.

‘It’s a portable x-ray,’ Luisa said, amazed. She had never seen one this small.

‘It is, being so close to it for so long probably took a couple of years of my life but totally worth it,’ Rose smiled, popping the top off the tube, pulling out the painting. ‘Because we are now the owners of Picasso’s lost masterpiece.’

‘You’re sure it is the real one?’ Luisa asked as she looked at the painting Rose held up.

Now it was Rose’s turn to glare. Art was her area of expertise and she did not enjoy being questioned on it.

‘It’s real. The previous owner paid me to authenticate it.’

Luisa laughed at the irony of that. ‘So of course you stole it.’

‘Is it really stealing if you take it from thieves?’ Rose asked, the smile on her face telling exactly what she thought the answer was.

The car pulled to a stop in front of Luisa’s hotel. She trusted Rose about as far as she could throw her, but she really didn’t want to be near her any more than she had to. ‘Call me when you get the money,’ she said as she stepped out, leaning back in for one last parting remark. ‘And if you run, just know that I will find you, and this time the bullet hitting you won’t be a ricochet.’

Rose grinned at her. ‘I wouldn’t dream of it.’ Then she closed the door and drove off with a 200-million-dollar painting.

‘You are never going to see her again.’

‘Yeah, most likely,’ Luisa sighed. Before she could wonder how anyone could have read her thoughts so clearly something was pressed over her mouth and the world went dark.

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who is not sorry about the cliffhanger? That's right, me!
> 
> If you liked it, please leave a comment <3


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